L'Ouef Monstrueux

I can think of few things worse than turning up to a friends house for dinner to be confronted with a full head of cauliflower on a platter, looking at you. Sitting at the table, mouth watering unpleasantly in anticipation. Wondering when your host lost their marbles so completely & what purveyor of Mutant Vegetables sold them that big, bastard cauliflower. Mentally composing a letter to the Times that begins, 'Dear Madam, I can no longer remain quiet on the subject of GM Foods..'

But then, what's this, your host leans forward with the knife to serve slices of cauli to all & it seems to be sliding through a little easily for a knife through a cruciferous vegetable. And what ever is that bang of sulphur?

Say hello the enemy of anyone who's a 'little funny' about their eggs, who'll eat them, but only if they themselves prepare them. Who avoids the egg mayonnaise sandwiches at a buffet like a slug avoids slug pellets....

L'Ouef Monstrueux.

8 egg yolks, poached in a plastic bag & topped with beaten egg whites. Then popped in the oven for a short period of time for a proper egg-meringue pie effect. Officially the only food in the world worse than a whole head of boiled cauliflower. Monstrueux indeed.